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Machete Kills

6/10
Action . Crime . Thriller . Sci-Fi
 

Ex-Federale agent Machete is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.

 
Actors: Danny Trejo , Mel Gibson , Amber Heard , Michelle Rodriguez , Sofía Vergara , Jessica Alba , Tom Savini , Lady Gaga , Vanessa Hudgens , Cuba Gooding Jr. , Demián Bichir
Directors: Robert Rodriguez
Country: RUSSIA , USA
Release: 2013-10-11
More Info:
  • No_One

    Action-packed, fun filled, thriller. 9.0/10 In "Machete Kills", Danny Trejo is an ex-Federale agent and what a wild action-packed ride we are taken on with a spectacular cast such as:Mel Gibson , Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Cuba Gooding Jr., Antonio Banderas, Charlie Sheen and Lady Gaga, We have great new characters that move at a much faster pace that keeps the over the top stupid fun action moving smoothly.throughout the sequel.

    Full Review
  • No_One

    Seriously though! I can not wait for the next installment, because Danny 's interaction with Mel Gibson and Michelle Rodriguez and others really made this film more intriguing then the first installment. This was.Sublime! An Action Packed thrill ride that no one should miss out on. 9.5/10.

    Full Review
  • Gabe Toro

    Like its predecessor, Machete Kills is never less than busy with ridiculousness.

    The Playlist Full Review
  • Owen Gleiberman

    Machete Kills is gruesomely baroque trash staged with a kinetic freedom that is truly eye-popping, so you can forgive its lapses, like how it goes on a little too long. Rodriguez's only real sin as a filmmaker is that he wants to give you way too much of a crazy ultraviolent good time.

    Entertainment Weekly Full Review
  • Joshua Rothkopf

    You’re really going for Rodriguez’s retrohappy splatter: Intestines tangle in helicopter rotors, heads pop in spring-loaded decapitations, and there’s even a new fake trailer up top. Little is believable, and that’s exactly as it should be.

    Time Out New York Full Review
  • Josh Modell

    Machete Kills is gleefully ridiculous, one-upping the first movie’s jokes, blood, and even its massively heightened self-awareness. No matter how Rodriguez would like to pitch it, Machete Kills isn’t really an homage to exploitation movies as much as it’s a parody of them.

    The A.V. Club Full Review
  • Amy Nicholson

    Kills tops the 2010 original by not giving a mierda about logic or character.

    Village Voice Full Review
  • William Goss

    More focused and less preachy than its exploitation-riffing predecessor, the comparably shoddy Machete Kills nonetheless peters out in the homestretch (and, for some, surely sooner).

    Film.com Full Review
  • Matt Zoller Seitz

    The picture is assembled with energy and a smidgen of style, but it's tiresome and slight.

    RogerEbert.com Full Review
  • James Berardinelli

    Those who love Robert Rodriguez's over-the-top Grindhouse-flavored spoofs will delight in this one but, ultimately, this is probably one Machete too many.

    ReelViews Full Review
  • Scott Bowles

    Machete Kills dulls more than anything. It's not that Robert Rodriguez's sequel lacks any of the camp or exploitative violence of the 2010 original. The mayhem has just become boring.

    USA Today Full Review
  • Richard Roeper

    The harder everyone tries to wring laughs out of the next hail of bullets or the next ridiculous plot twist or the next comedic decapitation, the duller the edge of the humor.

    Chicago Sun-Times Full Review
  • Kyle Smith

    Entertainingly gruesome in parts, and not without a certain anarchic wit, it’s the kind of movie you pause to watch when it’s on TV, but after half an hour, you’ll click over to something else.

    New York Post Full Review
  • Tom Russo

    Rodriguez does a fair job of keeping the zaniness coming: Vergara’s machine gun bra, Gibson delivering exposition in a “Star Wars” prop, bad guys offed by helicopter blades in dementedly creative ways. It’s enough that you’ll hope Rodriguez makes good on that new faux trailer — for “Machete Kills Again . . . in Space.”

    Boston Globe Full Review
  • Peter Hartlaub

    As much as Machete Kills is a reunion and continued revival, it also represents a sort of gentrification of the exploitation genre. It's probably time to move on and let a new generation of kids take a crack at making bad films.

    San Francisco Chronicle Full Review
  • Roger Moore

    Robert Rodriguez is like that friend who loves to tell jokes, but always goes on and on, well past the punch line. Remember how he beat the living daylights out of his “Spy Kids” franchise? That’s what he’s working toward with Machete.

    McClatchy-Tribune News Service Full Review
  • Chris Cabin

    The films that Robert Rodriguez emulates here are known for similar unexpected narrative turns, but the crucial value that he misses is their actual cheapness.

    Slant Magazine Full Review
  • Ian Buckwalter

    At times, to be blunt, he (Trejo) comes off like a silent film star who's accidentally lumbered onto the set of a bloody, violent, thoroughly ridiculous talkie: reluctant to speak, sometimes a little confused by his surroundings.

    NPR Full Review
  • Mike McCahill

    The odd vivid shot reminds you of Rodriguez's dynamic visual imagination, but also what it's wasted on here: a project as indifferent as some of the trash that inspired it.

    The Guardian Full Review
  • Tim Robey

    Perhaps because the joke’s already spent, this sequel has a pretty low bar to clear, and manages to be both utterly meritless and weirdly bearable.

    The Telegraph Full Review
  • Bill Goodykoontz

    Turns out there can be too much of a good thing. Or a campy thing. Or a silly thing. Or a subtle-as-a-brick-in-the-face thing.

    Arizona Republic Full Review
  • Matt Singer

    As a focused spoof of exploitation tropes, Machete Kills is, frankly, terrible. But as a surreal stream of subconsciousness from a filmmaker who’s spent a lifetime watching bad movies, it’s an occasionally entertaining diversion.

    The Dissolve Full Review
  • Marc Savlov

    It works extremely well as a drunken, date-night midnighter or film-fest entry, all madcap bloodletting and surrealist non sequiturs.

    Austin Chronicle Full Review
  • Trevor Johnston

    Sadly, much as we want to relish the shameless parade of cartoon violence, while indulging the equally shameless cavalcade of adolescent sexism, the soggy plotting and slack comic timing are downers.

    Time Out London Full Review
  • Matt Glasby

    Like a meal made entirely of chillies, Machete Mk II is spicy to start with, then unpleasant, then numbing - before it all starts to repeat.

    Total Film Full Review
  • Dan Jolin

    Violent, silly, embarrassing, clumsy, confusing, juvenile, occasionally offensive, occasionally a little bit fun.

    Empire Full Review
  • Geoff Berkshire

    As violent as its predecessor yet noticeably duller and less outrageous, Machete Kills is dragged to the finish line entirely by its director’s madcap energy and an absurd cast of major stars in strange cameos.

    Variety Full Review
  • Dave McGinn

    It is all so intentionally ridiculous that it gets boring, and you just wait for the next big cornball revelation to momentarily jolt you awake, like Sofia Vergara strapping on her machine-gun bra, or Lady Gaga’s appearance as a hit woman. Machete kills, sure. Unfortunately, he overkills.

    The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Full Review
  • Michael O'Sullivan

    It’s exhausting. It’s also not particularly funny or engaging.

    Washington Post Full Review
  • Stephen Holden

    All too soon, Machete Kills collapses into a deranged, directionless splatter comedy that exhausts its bag of tricks, many of them recycled from this grindhouse auteur’s 2010 spoof.

    The New York Times Full Review
  • Mark Olsen

    Machete Kills winds up a slightly camp, tinny parody of bad action movies, playing out with the same sense of tedium as a genuine bad action movie.

    Los Angeles Times Full Review
  • Justin Lowe

    The cinematic axiom of diminishing returns appears to be catching up with Robert Rodriguez’s Machete franchise in only the second installment, as the series’ engagingly lowbrow concept gets overwhelmed by episodic plotting and uninspired, rote performances.

    The Hollywood Reporter Full Review
  • Joe Williams

    When a celebrity chef like Rodriguez is just going through the motions, we can smell that the grindhouse fad is way past its expiration date. It's time to put a fork in it.

    St. Louis Post-Dispatch Full Review
  • David Edelstein

    The carnage (with its computer-­generated splatter) is meant to be campy fun, but it’s so offhand that there’s less suspense than in an Austin Powers movie.

    New York Magazine (Vulture) Full Review
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  • mexico

  • white house

  • nuclear missile

  • machete

  • outer space

  • missile

  • arms dealer

  • bomb

  • battle

  • prostitute

  • brothel

  • mexican

  • betrayal

  • sheriff

  • masked man

  • bad guys win

  • blindfold

  • neo western

  • exploding car

  • open ended

  • fistfight

  • sikorsky hh 3 jolly green giant

  • sikorsky sh 3 sea king helicopter

  • bell 206 jet ranger helicopter

  • robinson r44 raven helicopter

  • woman breaks man's neck

  • woman kills man

  • woman shot in the forehead

  • whip

  • undressing

  • premarital sex

  • psychedelic image

  • scene after end credits

  • surprise after end credits

  • tracking device

  • mission

  • disfigurement

  • hologram

  • flamethrower

  • space travel

  • tattoo

  • cameo

  • drive in theater

  • rescue

  • security camera

  • surveillance

  • killed by a propeller

  • sadism

  • sadist

  • entrails

  • ambush

  • wisecrack humor

  • black comedy

  • f word

  • cape

  • one against many

  • defibrillator

  • contract killer

  • blindness

  • motorcycle

  • bar fight

  • police

  • assassination attempt

  • government agent

  • spy

  • terrorist plot

  • psychopath

  • mexican standoff

  • swat team

  • throat slitting

  • fight to the death

  • foot chase

  • chase

  • car accident

  • dominatrix

  • super speed

  • super strength

  • jumping from height

  • radio station

  • wheelchair

  • secret tunnel

  • world domination

  • megalomaniac

  • hitchhiking

  • body count

  • bartender

  • stealing a car

  • parachute

  • threatened with a knife

  • meat cleaver

  • obscene finger gesture

  • fundraiser

  • satellite

  • gas explosion

  • explosion

  • surgery

  • mother daughter relationship

  • photograph

  • hostage

  • kidnapping

  • escape

  • held at gunpoint

  • racial slur

  • ethnic slur

  • southern accent

  • female rear nudity

  • bare butt

  • torture

  • massacre

  • disguise

  • catfight

  • showdown

  • speedboat

  • crushed to death

  • timebomb

  • nuclear threat

  • rocket

  • schizophrenia

  • militant

  • sword fight

  • knife fight

  • sword

  • gadgetry

  • gadget

  • cell phone

  • arrest

  • handcuffs

  • corrupt cop

  • police brutality

  • police vigilantism

  • dual wield

  • man with no name

  • stylized violence

  • brawl

  • fight

  • martial arts

  • hand to hand combat

  • mixed martial arts

  • scientist

  • commando unit

  • gangster

  • chop shop

  • organized crime

  • rogue soldier

  • soldier

  • hitman

  • hired killer

  • bodyguard

  • mercenary

  • super soldier

  • genetic engineering

  • billionaire

  • eccentric

  • inventor

  • double cross

  • wilhelm scream

  • stabbed in the back

  • shot in the knee

  • hit in the crotch

  • shot in the arm

  • shot in the shoulder

  • shot in the throat

  • stabbed in the neck

  • stabbed in the throat

  • sawed off shotgun

  • bazooka

  • ak 47

  • gatling gun

  • uzi

  • revolver

  • shotgun

  • battlefield

  • gunfight

  • violence

  • death

  • blood splatter

  • blood

  • surrealism

  • laser gun

  • conspiracy

  • reluctant hero

  • female killer

  • espionage

  • undercover

  • female assassin

  • female agent

  • female spy

  • texas

  • over the top

  • tongue in cheek

  • exploitation

  • parody

  • james bond spoof

  • spy spoof

  • spoof

  • grindhouse

  • b movie

  • homage

  • female fighter

  • tough girl

  • warrior

  • tough guy

  • anti hero

  • action hero

  • box office flop

  • reference to twitter

  • food truck

  • hit by a truck

  • countdown

  • race against time

  • tied to a chair

  • death of wife

  • split screen

  • space station

  • tiara

  • flashback

  • self sacrifice

  • skeleton

  • nuclear weapon

  • digging a grave

  • slow motion scene

  • priest

  • interracial sex

  • burnt face

  • burned alive

  • person on fire

  • shot in the eye

  • eye patch

  • doctor

  • nurse

  • sex scene

  • healing

  • desert

  • psychic

  • absurdism

  • ray gun

  • spacesuit

  • space shuttle

  • gas station

  • whipping

  • tied to a table

  • covered in blood

  • knife throwing

  • reference to star wars

  • neck breaking

  • border crossing

  • armored car

  • wheelchair bound

  • exploding body

  • heart ripped out

  • decapitation

  • severed head

  • severed leg

  • severed arm

  • car crash

  • punched in the crotch

  • head butt

  • police officer killed

  • punched in the face

  • exploding helicopter

  • bare chested male

  • reference to genghis khan

  • u.s. mexico border

  • news report

  • exploding building

  • on the run

  • car chase

  • silencer

  • mexican flag

  • dismemberment

  • cut into pieces

  • assassin

  • bar

  • master of disguise

  • sliced in two

  • impalement

  • stabbed to death

  • stabbed in the head

  • stabbed in the chest

  • stabbed in the stomach

  • disembowelment

  • henchman

  • clone

  • drug cartel

  • multiple personality disorder

  • insanity

  • falling from height

  • jumping through a window

  • shot in the side

  • death of daughter

  • revenge

  • murder

  • femme fatale

  • brothel madam

  • subtitled scene

  • spanish

  • undercover agent

  • secret agent

  • sequel mentioned during end credits

  • fake trailer

  • character repeating someone else's dialogue

  • beauty pageant

  • helicopter

  • deception

  • washington d.c.

  • u.s. president

  • one man army

  • hanged man

  • police station

  • deputy

  • returning character killed off

  • death of loved one

  • assault rifle

  • machine gun

  • pistol

  • electrocution

  • blood on camera lens

  • gore

  • shot to death

  • shot in the neck

  • shot in the head

  • shot in the forehead

  • shot in the back

  • shot in the chest

  • shot in the leg

  • shootout

  • masked woman

  • knife

  • acapulco mexico

  • san antonio texas

  • arizona

  • terrorism

  • terrorist

  • bullet firing bra

  • claim in title

  • second part

  • sequel

  • independent film

  • title spoken by character

  • character name in title

  • surprise ending

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